Friday, February 03, 2006

Will somebody smack the little shit already

Wal-mart... They sell everything from lawn furniture to DVD players to groceries to suppositories which means that it isn't very easy to find anything, you can never find a parking spot that is within less than 300 feet of the door, and have lines that are worse than the DMV.

But still we go because, as mentioned a moment ago, they have everything, and it's usually at a pretty reasonable price.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that Wal-Mart has low prices on pretty much everything, this means that the poorer half of the nation shops there, and let's face it... too many poor people have extra kids in order to get more welfare money. Well, more to the point, too many poor people have kids and can't afford a leash and shock collar for their little demonspawn brats.

I suggest that new legislation be initiated wherein it would be legal for a shopper such as myself to simply smack the hell out of somebody else's kid if the parent/guardian doesn't end the child's bad behavior. The definition of bad behavior should be broad, and run the entire gamut from the act of kicking bouncy balls up and down the aisles to screaming and pulling items off of shelves during a temper tantrum because mommy wouldn't buy them the toy they wanted.

As part of this legislation, all children should be forced to wear shock collars, and the frequency of each child's collar should be prominently displayed so that others can tune their kid-zappers to the appropriate frequency. Hell, Wal-mart could sell them in aisle 12 (batteries not included, of course, they're in aisle 7) for $99 and they'd make billions. I'd probably buy three of them, just in case the first two broke. I'm not taking any chances when it comes to my pleasant and relatively uninterrupted shopping experience.

Either leave the fucking kids at home, or smack the hell out them when they're bad. Because if you don't, the rest of America will.
Posted by MrV :: 10:35 AM :: | ---------------oOo---------------