Friday, December 02, 2005

Some Rock in Roll Legends and has bens I wish would just go away

Bob Dylan: Only in the sixties could you get away with not knowing how to sing…and so boringly.

Led Zeppelin: Well, some of it's actually okay but mostly I’m waiting for Robert's balls to drop. Also, they've been on the radio every seven minutes for the past thirty years, not to mention every fucking commercial ever and this kind of force-feeding tempts me to set things on fire.

U2: Get the hell over yourself, you prancing jackass. I'll give you The Joshua Tree and that's it.

Pink Floyd: I've done all kinds of drugs and many, many times. They're still boring.

Janis Joplin: see Bob Dylan (but change "boringly", to "screechingly atrocious").

Rolling Stones: Unfortunately, I've yet to come up with a satisfactory way to describe how much I truly fucking hate these guys. There is not one thing about Keith, Mick or their music that doesn't annoy the piss out of me. Please just knock your shit off already.

REM: Homosexuals are embarrassed at how gay they are. At least someone has since confiscated that goddamned mandolin.

Queen: Really, I only take issue with that "We Will Rock You" bullshit for obvious reasons. Otherwise, some of it’s pretty good, though a bit pompous for me.

Bruce Springsteen: Whatever...

Jimi Hendrix: Again, I don't mind Jimi so much, but I include him for being the most overrated guitar player ever.

Santana: Similarly, this man is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for playing nothing but the same guitar solo for thirty years straight without anybody noticing.

Van Halen (with Hagar or Roth): Eddie Van halen is living proof that you can sell your sole to the devil for some talent. I honestly like Sammy Hagar better when he was solo and as for David Lee Roth....I really don't think I need to explain that one.
Posted by MrV :: 9:58 AM :: | ---------------oOo---------------