Thursday, January 21, 2010

At 12 I stood on the edge of the earth and said I wanted to be an astronaut
at 18 I realized I was not smart enough.... and settled to be a fireman
at 20 I settled more and became a truck driver
at 28 I settled even lower and became a mechanic

at 33 I am lost.....I stand on the verge of love........more confused and nervous than ever.....

I wish I had a road map to this thing called life.....

Because I have taken every wrong turn and don't know what way to go

I wish I could just hit 'ctrl' 'alt' 'delete' and start over
Posted by MrV :: 11:25 PM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I'm hiding in the corner
Of an overgrown garden
Covering my body in leaves
And trying not to breath
All my childhood dreams
Are bursting at the seams
And dangling around my knees

I've been deformed by emotional scars
And the cancer of love has eaten out my heart
I've been stripped bare and nobody cares
And all the people I looked up to are no longer there

All desires have been denied to put me in this state of mind
Another year older and what have I done
My aspirations have shriveled in the sun
I'm crippled by guilt
Blinded by science
I've been waiting for tomorrow all of my life

"....working, keep talking."

All desires have been denied to put me in this state of mind
Another year older and what have I done
My aspirations have shriveled in the sun
I'm crippled by guilt
Blinded by science
I've been waiting for tomorrow all of my life

I've been filled with useless information
Spewed out by papers and radio stations
I've been hounded by fairweather friends
Sowing the seeds for my discontent
Life is like a sewer
And I'm trying to wade thru her
I threw in my money and made my wish
But sleeping boys catch no fish

All desires have been denied to put me in this state of mind
Another year older and what have I done
My aspirations have shriveled in the sun
I'm crippled by guilt
Blinded by science
I've been waiting for tomorrow all of my life

"....working, keep talking."

All my childhood dreams
Are sinking round my knees
My mind has been polluted
And my energy diluted

Posted by MrV :: 9:29 PM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Sunday, January 17, 2010

.I know I leave my body when I sleep because......sometimes I find receipts in my pockets from stores I've shopped in the ether. Seems I buy a lot of gum and condoms in the dreamworld.

There's a friend I talk to every night and at the close of our awesome chats, just before bed I always say, "If you leave your body, come get me!" I rarely remember anything I do, if I have in fact traveled out of my body.

So many of my lucid dreams involve people I know, some even involve loved ones who have passed on, and we walk and talk and visit in strange new places and towns and cities and villages and it all seems so real and they do and say things just like they do in life, or have done.

Someday, I believe that we may discover that we all do leave our bodies in our sleep and we will be able to remember what we do and there may be a Travel Channel that is just for those who are Astral Projecting to far away destinations.

Posted by MrV :: 8:33 PM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Had a strange dream.

I was walking around looking at beautiful old buildings and every time I stopped to talk to someone from that building, they would say, "Oh, enjoy it while you can. It's being demolished in a few days."

It was very sad and as the dream was going, I knew it meant something other than buildings.


Maybe it's about me changing, or learning new things, or growing older, I dunno.

Then again it could have been the Ambien

Posted by MrV :: 6:13 PM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Friday, January 02, 2009

Just when I get excited about all the possibilities for 2009, I have to go and write out a check for Rent!

Now I'm drained of all strength I was storing up to use to shower and get dressed. I can't believe writing a check can wear me out so much. But it does.

I went to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" at 5 yesterday cause it's the cheap show and I wasn't so sure about it, but I love David Fincher and he's never failed me before. That movie is really good, it's long, but I almost started crying at the end. But I am not a fag so I held back, many people in the crowd did cry, you could hear it.

A couple behind me talked all through it and I was thinking about that News report about the guy that shot that man who was talking through the same movie! So after the movie I turned around and asked them if they had seen that News item?

There was panic on their faces like I might be packing.

Assholes!...They'd laugh at a sad parts and they were texting someone and giggling, she even took a call on her cell and didn't get up to leave... It was awful.

I hate going to the movies because of that, but the theaters promote that kinda behavior with all their Verizon Ads they play before the film.

I was pretty mellow and didn't shoot anyone because before the movie I had an Enchilada De Pablano and a Large Top Shelf Margarita that almost knocked me out. Bad part there is an awesome flooding scene in the film and I already had to pee so bad, I could barely hold it.

New Years Parties? I missed everything! After the flick, I had to some work, then went home to nap and slept through the whole thing!!! I guess I was tired...

I had a dream Brad Pitt and I became friends and he took me fishing and hang gliding, then we went go kart racing, he bought me a corndog, he asked me advice about his career, then he gave me a skateboard he had airbrushed with our image we had taken in a photo-booth... Then I bolted awake!

"Dang, Was that Gay or what?" I said out loud.

I blame the Large Top Shelf Margarita, but a good corndog does sound good now as I type this.

There are so many things I want to do this year, so many things I wanna do this month! This year will be My Year I just know it! I know I've said that in the previous years, but maybe then I just wasn't ready for my greatness to be revealed, to even me.

Being this is the 2nd, I could try the Fast again... It worked last month for at least 15 days before the chest pains threw me off track. When I went to LA I had bloated back up even more than I was before the Fast and it was sad cause everyone is so thin there.

I only need to lose about 50 pounds to be sexy on camera! There are people that I see that look skeleton thin in person, but on camera they just look good and hot. Why? Not fair!

Posted by MrV :: 12:25 PM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I hope 2009 will be better for me than all the past years I've been...

...through, lost, confused, poor, and bored...

The last 180 years of my life have pretty much sucked sweaty donkey balls!

I really need to get my drunk on this New Years!

Been invited to a few parties, but I dunno, I see myself getting drunk by myself and thinking about how I can get my life going the way it needs to be this new year.

I just need to be alone to think and drink.

Posted by MrV :: 4:20 PM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Sunday, December 07, 2008

I fell into some kinda daze...

Standing outside I noticed the light from a street lamp was shining through leafless branches of an old tree and it's shadow fell across my car and it looked like veins on the dirty metal.

Looking at my reflection in the passenger window I could see the veins move across my face. It looked tribal. I looked fractured, shattered, even broken.

Old.

It was cold and I could see my breath floating away from me like a spirit up to the Black velvet night sky.

If I said a word, it would form in steam and hover away in the breeze. Like a blown kiss. Could I send a thought with it? Would it find you? Would you know it was me sending you the message?

Hello!

Posted by MrV :: 12:15 AM :: | ---------------oOo---------------