Pearls of Wisdoms and Mindless Rants


Everything hear is subject to change depending on life, mood, and alcoholic intake.

Friday, May 30, 2008



It's so weird, I know so many people who are on their "periods" right now, at the same time! Including my wife.

I say, "People" because I don't want any of the "girls" to be offended. Including my wife.

It's been a true horror show!

You can't say or do anything right around any of them! Including my wife.

One of my favorite waitresses comes over and sits with me and tells me how much "Flow" she's having as I started to order. People love to open up and tell me private things like this. Including my wife...

So, I start calling her "Flo" like the waitress on the old TV show, "Alice."

And she starts crying. Just like my wife....

Posted by MrV :: 10:22 AM :: |
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008



So I just finished watching No Country for Old Men ....wow, what a movie.

The ending is a trip, but the movie is friggen fantastic, and it is not the scotch saying that. Although the scotch was good to.

It is nice to be able and sit at home getting drunk and watching DVD's while getting paid for it. Thanks veterans you rock.....

Posted by MrV :: 12:36 AM :: |
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Thursday, May 22, 2008



Today I hit the jackpot!!!

I stopped off at my local Tulare Sierra Mini Mart and picked up a Snickers Bar, but the clerk made a mistake and she told me to take two because of her goof.

Then, my Time Out Pizza joint had to deal with their front entrance being closed due to wet cement on their new sidewalk, so we customers had to enter through the back kitchen entrance. That was fun, but the best part was they gave me a free meal for all the trouble getting in to the place.

Cool!

Then later tonight My friend Shawn and I visited the place and Shawn picked up the tab.

It's hard being thin when there is so much free food being thrown at me.

Wait a minute... Oh my Gawd!

I'm no longer thin... I'm as Tyra Banks would say...

I'm a plus size model!

That sounds better...

Posted by MrV :: 5:02 PM :: |
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Monday, May 19, 2008



2 days + 500 miles + 2 wheels = complete freedom



Posted by MrV :: 7:02 AM :: |
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Sunday, May 18, 2008



My friend's wife is out of town and I thought we could do some manly things together, so I suggested we go see, "Iron Man!"

I discovered a 2PM showing perfect for us beause I worked last night and needed a little sleep.

Iron Man was one of my favorite comics and for a few years I even own the very first appearance of Iron Man in Tales of Suspense, but hard times means sacrafise and I sold it to survive my own adventures.

Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark is a great idea, I think! He's one of my favorite personalities. I know people that thinks he's the same in every role and that he mumbles and talks too fast, but I dig the guy.

To me, he save saves movie. There's just something missing for me in the film, and I can't quite place it now. But I recommend it. I've thought a lot about it and I had a great time seeing it with my friend.

It just might be that we saw the trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" with Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel (she is yummy) just before "Iron Man" and sadly I was thinking of "The Happening" 20 minutes into "Iron Man" and I couldn't shake it.

Afterward we went and drank 27 Miller Lights and ate a butt load of hot wings.

It was a good day

Posted by MrV :: 8:21 PM :: |
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008



Had a dream that I was living on the Moon!

I guess there had been this ancient race of people that built a civilization just on the edge of the darkside of the moon and they left or died off.

Somehow I was transported there and lived in their airtight city.

I had a giant robot as my servant and companion. I had a cool car that I drove outside the city and onto the dark part where with my powerful headlights saw the skeletons of old dinosaurs that once lived there.

At first the dream was kinda sad. I was lonely and felt trapped. But the robot became my friend and helped make my wants and desires possible because it was great at making things.

Then I wanted a woman. I sorted through data of the type of woman I wanted. I had the robot watch movies that starred Angelina Jolie, Paulette Goddard, Ava Gardner, Faye Dunaway, Catherine Deneuve, Jennifer Connelly, Julie Christie, Jessica Biel, Ingrid Bergman, Ann Margret, Rita Hayworth, Emmanuelle Béart, and others, but after he built her the three of us had dinner and I could tell he was really into her.

I'd try to make conversation and he'd be interrupting, cockblocking and alphadogging... It was pretty pitiful.

I gave up. I let the robot have her.

Then he was never around to help me, or make things for me. At one point he even turned the oxygen off because they didn't need it. He said he just forgot to turn it on. He acted like it was a big pain to turn it on. I was suffocating! He made it sound like all I do is want, want, want and nag!

I must have been choking in my sleep because my wife woke me up at this point.

Posted by MrV :: 10:57 AM :: |
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Thursday, May 08, 2008



In my line of work I meet a lot of pilots. For the most part they are nice and cordial but then again there are some complete dicks....

The following is an account of a line call this morning.

6:10 am (radio goes off, Aircraft 218 requesting maintenance)

me: Good morning sir, what seems to be the problem

Mr pilot: the AP (auto pilot) indicator light is pointing in the wrong direction

the AP indicator is a dummy light that shows which person has the auto pilot engaged. This one happened to be pointing to the left. It is also a dummy light it has no effect on the AP.

Me: Well it looks like avionics was working on the auto pilot last night and and perhaps put in the wrong bulb. this is not something we carry in the maintenance truck

Mr Pilot: well this is not going to do we have got to get this fixed.

me: well it is not flight critical and it is just a dummy light it is not worth taking a delay over.

Mr (now rude) pilot: Just change the bulb and we will be on our way

Me: I just said we don't carry these in the maintenance van

Mr rude pilot: then get in your van and drive back to the hanger and get one.

Me: Perhaps if you called me earlier than 5 minutes before you where to board I could have taken care of this for you.. Like i said it is not worth taking a delay over

Mr extremely rude dick head pilot: Don't you tell me how to do my job just fix the dam system.

Me: Ok then I got and idea can I see the flight can? (flight can is a log book)

I took the flight can back to the maintenance van called maintenance control and deffered the entire auto pilot system.

The look on the pilots face when I handed him back the flight can and put the inop placard on the auto pilot indicator and pulled and collared the Ap circuit breakers..... Priceless

and the flight left on time

Posted by MrV :: 8:51 AM :: |
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Monday, May 05, 2008



I used to be in a mariachi band..... It was call the Swinging Webos

Today is a day of important historical significance, It's Cinco de Mayo and the holiday commemorates an initial and short lived victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín over French forces in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, but more importantly it's a day I get...

DRUUUUUNNNNKKKKK!!!!

So I must start early and find a place that serves Margaritas, because I know we have no shortages of places that do.

Most of my two favorite Mexican joints are "Ningún Alcohol!"

I must start my journey for booze and Enchiladas Banderas now!

Posted by MrV :: 7:56 AM :: |
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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Day off

I'm sure you know by now that I love, "Easy Rider" today I spent a good couple of hours watching this retrospective documentary made about the 1969 movie starring Dennis Hopper, Peter Fonda, Jack Nicholson, Luke Askew...

It's only an hour long, but my internet was slow and YouTube's not much fun when it's creeping along.

Watch it here!

Posted by MrV :: 12:54 PM :: |
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