Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Bla Bla Fucking Bla


Don't you hate it when your friends become successful? Nothing a sucks more than when you hear from friends telling you about how wonderful their life is. I don't think it's because my life is so bad, or that I'm envious, or jealous, I just feel embarrassed for them.

When my life is going great, and believe me there have been a few moments, fleeting as they were, where my life was pretty good, I don't think I shouted from the rooftops about how swell everything was. I would be embarrassed to do that!

But it is funny, that I have no qualms about telling everyone how depressed or miserable I am. It is true that misery loves company!

Ever notice when you are hanging around your group of miserable friends, just hanging out talking about how horrible everything is and you decide to go out and do something different, they find excuses for you not to go? It's like some freaky bird nest and they don't want you to fly.

There used to be this bar that I frequented, where there was about eight of us guys and two women who were regulars. We were all pretty miserable, but everyone was a very funny. There was one guy who was pretty fat. I mean, he was fucking huge! And he was the funniest one of us all. His name is Ben. Out of the blue he just disappeared. We just never saw him for a long stretch of time. There were rumors that he moved away. But nothing was substantiated. One night he walked in and bought us all drinks. He looked completely different. He was groomed, better dressed and had lost about 300 lbs..

Margaret worked for a very succesful lawyer as secretary and was a complete drunk. She used to hate Ben and call him names and make fat jokes about him, but when he lifted up his Abercrombie and Finch T-shirt so she could touch his tanned washboard abs, she fell to the floor. Falling to the floor was nothing new to Margaret, as she did it often, but it was usually because she was completely drunk.

This time however it was because she realized if she had been nicer to him all along she might have had a chance getting this new Adonis in bed. He introduced us to his new girlfriend who was a workout trainer to several soap opera actresses. She was blonde and beautiful. She went to the car to bring in an mockup of the cover art to her new workout DVD that he was producing for her. We asked him what brought on all this change and he told us that he had been cast in a comedy role in a U.S.C. student film that his little brother was working on. There was a scene where his character is sitting on a couch watching TV in an apartment. When he went to sit on the couch, it broke and one of the legs poked a hole in the floor. Everyone on the set laughed at him and even though it was an accident it was used in the film.

He said that if it had been in the script, it probably wouldn't have bothered him and he would have done it, but because it was the way he really was, it hurt him. And it hurt him when everyone in his family got a copy of it. As weeks and months went by we heard about how things were going with him. He and his girlfriend got married. They traveled the world. He produced a movie that he acted in. And they had twins. He was somewhere else and we were still right here.
Posted by MrV :: 9:41 AM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Lost Dog

Saw this sad Missing Dog poster...It looks like a cuter version of the Taco bell dog, but one without a sponsor. I bet his family misses him.

I hope he is found, but I fear it may be too late as this poster was next to a Panda Express that is located next to a Mexican place and they both are battling for customers.

The fact that it is a Mexican dog, well...

It's turf war, people.

There was a story years ago about a German Diner next to an Arab family restaurant and they hated each other! They fought daily over parking space. Slowly, Arab family members began disappearing and it was discovered that one of the suppliers of meat to the Arab joint was a cousin of the German family.

He had been killing people and putting them in with the meats they served! For years this was going on! They were eating their own family members!

It's best not to read the News.

Posted by MrV :: 8:11 PM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I was brushing my teeth Yesterday and I heard a sound that sounding like a fish slapping around on the floor. I looked down and it was my belly jiggling and slapping the edge of the sink.
I couldn't believe it. I've gained so much weight and fat.

I turned to my full length mirror and did a turn around to notice, "Back-Fat"! I hadn't noticed it before, because everyone know the color Black hides fat and the hair on my back is Black.
I began drinking my Cayenne Pepper/Maple Syrup Drink like there was no Tomorrow.
Today I see that my pants still fit fine, so that through me off, but my gut completely hangs over the belt and front pockets. I have to grab a bit of flesh and lift to get my car keys out of my pocket. I never noticed that before.

I was always afraid of throwing up, but since I had the Flu I kind of got used to it. I know bulimics have trouble with the enamel coming off their teeth and turning them funny colors, so I bought some Whitestrips to put over my teeth before I puke. That's thinking ahead!

I hope I lose a lot of weight today before I head over to The Village Pizzeria in the later this afternoon.

I've got my priorities.

Posted by MrV :: 1:27 PM :: | ---------------oOo---------------

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Neil Young Is coming to Fresno!!!!!!

Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno Neil Young in coming to Fresno..... AND I AM GOING TO SEE HIM!!!!!!!

Posted by MrV :: 7:51 AM :: | ---------------oOo---------------